Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
