i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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