Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
