You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
