Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
