Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
