I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
