Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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