I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
