that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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