why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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