Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
