not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He did a backflip because drugs
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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