and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
