Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
