Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
