You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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