chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
