I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So squirting runs in the family.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
