ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
