I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
