he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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