a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
