Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
