rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
