Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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