don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
