Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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