He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
