This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
