I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
