So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Randomize
