But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
