What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
