i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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