Nicole vs. Life
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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