i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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