please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
