oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
