You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
