Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
