i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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