Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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