fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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