we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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