I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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