The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
