so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
