i jhust puked up my retainher.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
