Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
