Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
