I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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